And Then It Happened…
Generally I’m not an overly sensitive girl. Sure, I cry at sad movies and I like getting flowers, but I don’t think I’m overly sensitive. I don’t coo at babies and I don’t believe in love at first sight. That being said, I do think you can fall in love, maybe just a tiny bit, very quickly. Normally I would be more pessimistic about this phenomenon except that it just happened to me.
It happened so quickly I didn’t even blog about it or give him a number. It also ended quicker than either of us wanted and so talking about it now is, sadly, in the past tense.
All it took was a week. In seven days and as many nights I fell for him. We were wrapped up in one another as much as we could be. Spending hours talking, drinking countless bottles of wine and cups of coffee and holding each other close until I was late for work. It didn’t matter. I didn’t want to leave him.
We both knew it couldn’t last. He was going as I was coming. He was coming as I was going. The stars didn’t align and the gods wouldn’t let us be together. And so as quickly as it began, it ended. Two and a half amazing weeks was all we had.
I was surprised at how devastated I was. I was surprised that I couldn’t sleep that night, how I laid awake, my mind swimming with thoughts of him. I was surprised that I cried, fat tears filling my eyes and spilling down my cheeks silently. I was surprised when I realized that I had fallen for him, even if it was just a little.
These lyrics from the song Even Now, by the amazing William Fitzsimmons, capture it better than I could:
How long should I wait / before I let you go / how long should I decide? / Whose side should I take? / when both of us were wrong / when we both share the blame / oh but I love you / even still even now / even though we fell apart / even still even now / but I hope we’ll meet again
And so it would seem this experience makes me reconsider love and how it works. And though I’m sad and a bit heart broken, I am a bit reassured that I can still love. That my past experiences haven’t taken this away from me. And hopefully, the next time I meet someone as amazing as him, we’ll be able to give it a fair chance. I can only hope.
Hmmm…I think that you will be ok.
And you should definitely feel reassured that love can happen and that you still deserve it. 
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