And Suddenly, Sadness
You would think I’d be past this. When the sound of his voice doesn’t make my heart do a little flip-flop. It’s not even that “Omigod-how-I’m-gonna-live-without-him?” sort of flip-flop, but instead it’s an “I’m-sad-it’s-over-even-though-I’m-happy-now” kind of flip-flop.
He called to say he’s leaving, he’s accepted a job. He’s going to Iraq. For a year. And so I congratulate him, because I don’t know what else I’m supposed to say. And I fight back the tears because this, all of this, still has the ability to make me cry.
He’s says it’s what he wants and I am happy for him. And I’ve no reason to be sad, for my life is wonderful and I am truly happy with things. And I know he is happy too. So see, we are happy. Separately, we are both happy.
But suddenly I am once again mourning the loss of something gone, even though I am incredibly happy and satisfied with where my life is and where it’s going. You can be happy and sad at the same time, right?…
Absolutely, you can be happy and sad simultaneously! And maybe this distance will be a good thing!
yes! yes you can! in fact, i think that’s the lesson you’ve been teaching ME.
I think I’m happy & sad most of the time. It’s so tiring though.
It’ll be nice when it’s just happy & no more sad, I’m pretty sure that can happen at some point.
[...] a strange process, divorcing in the state of Maryland. We’ve been separated for over a year, he’s not even in the country anymore, and yet legally, we’re still Husband and [...]