Word Perv

Saturday morning Daisy and I ventured out for our second walk of the morning. Ever since returning from our first walk and eating breakfast Daisy had been riled up, out in the yard, running around and investigating every corner of the yard. Alternately rolling in some delicious smelly thing and then jumping up to tear down the length of the fence before arcing wide and circling back. I’m not sure why she was so hyper yesterday morning but she was.

As we were walking we met up with two of our neighborhood dog friends, Diamond and Boo (I didn’t name them people, they’re not my dogs!). Diamond is a pit bull-mix puppy and Boo is a small fluffy dog who had the misfortune of getting shaved for the summer (again I reiterate, they’re not my dogs). As soon as we said hello to them Daisy started running back and forth on her six foot leash. Diamond and Boo get excited and start to join in, only they’re on retractable leashes.

I hate retractable leashes for two reasons: 1) You don’t really have control over your dog on one. If they’re doing something they shouldn’t, you can’t give the warning jerk you need to, instead your stuck reeling them back in. I learned this when Daisy and I did obedience school (for her, not for me!). 2) If a retractable leash gets wrapped around you, it will burn you, leaving a deep painful gash much like a rope burn. I know, I had one. It left me scarred for two years before it finally faded.

So, back to the story. Daisy and Diamond and Boo are all getting excited, running back and forth and in circles, as much as they can on their leashes. They start to get tangled, so we separate them and say our goodbyes. Except Daisy decides she wants one last hooray and she lunges again. I pull back sharply on her leash, expecting her to pull against me because this is what she usually does. The key word in that sentence being “usually”. Because this time she didn’t, instead she spun quickly and moved toward me, which meant the force I pulled her with had no resistance. And my arm came flying back. And I punched myself square in the eye. And now, for two days I’ve battled the headache that has settled behind my right eye.

You can’t make this up people.